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Hi! I'm Meghan. I'm glad you stopped by. My hope is whether through food for the body or food for the soul, this blog will encourage and inspire you. One of my loves is to encourage others in their journey. Along with that, I hope to share with you my love for food, fitness, and Jesus!

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Growing a Great {Salty} Marriage

Food for the Spirit
August 26, 2015 / By / , , , / 2 Comments

A few weeks back, for my 10 year anniversary, I posted a little something, okay long something, on having vision in marriage.  I heard from many of you, and I know it’s something God is doing corporately in marriages.  I am praying for YOU and your marriage, that your vision would become a beautifully united journey that speaks loudly of unconditional love and points people to the Father.  Cuz that’s what marriages are for, right?  They are billboards to all who are around us, representing God’s great love.  Does that make you smile or sigh?  Giggle or gulp? Good news is here!  

Just like God said we are the salt of the earth, I want my marriage to be salty.  I love praying for a salty marriage, too, it’s fun. :)  I think God smiles, too, when I talk to Him about it. 

I’d like to share a few things that I’ve learned in my own marriage, and hopefully it will help bring good marriages into GREAT marriages.  I said it before, but I am convinced the counterfeit of great is good, so let’s wave at good while we pass it by, so we can get to great.  (Which may mean saying no to good in order to say yes to great somewhere else, or vice versa.  I feel like that was for someone, so if that doesn’t land, keep reading. :) )  

Like an awesome mango or avocado tree, it started from a small seed.  The seed received a little love and TLC, was nourished consistently, and over time the roots grew deep, and the fruit was delicious–for you and others.  Same goes with marriage.  These things start with a seed.  Plant these good seeds, nourish them consistently, weed when needed, and before you know it there will be a lush, bountiful and gorgeous tree.  There are MANY seeds and varieties, as there are tips for great marriages.  I felt like these 4 were for today.  Consider them seeds. Give them time and they WILL grow!  

1.  Dive feet first into who you are in Jesus.  Paul was the most content guy I know.  He knew how to abound chained up in jail, and he knew how to abound in great blessings.  He told us he could do ANYTHING through Christ.  He thrived in strength AND in weakness.  Besides Jesus, Paul dealt with the most difficult people, and he still thrived.  How?  He knew who we was.  He knew who he was created to be.  He allowed God to teach him His ways, and he prayed a LOT.  He didn’t pretend to be someone he wasn’t.  He was bold, strong and powerful as a son.  I see Paul’s connection to the Father as the absolute life blood to his contentment.  Paul knew who His Father was, he operated in the amazing grace Jesus paid for, and was an absolute son living in His inheritance.  Sons of good dads don’t worry, they don’t fret, they don’t get ruffled, because they know their dad will take care of things.  We are called to be sons and daughters, thriving in our inheritance.  {Romans 8:15}  Not orphans, out to prove something to the world.   Sons and daughters, with a blank check with the kingdom of heaven as collateral.  Sons and daughters, rooted to the amazing love of God.  If we can step into who we are, who God has created us to be, marriages will thrive.  We will learn to move forward, even in difficult seasons of marriage.

2.  Be selfless.  I did mention this last time briefly, but in my opinion selfishness is like cancer to marriage.  No 50/50 works, only 100/100.  I just noticed, in Galatians 5, that selfish ambition is listed with murder, adultery and many other hurtful and dangerous works of the flesh.  Whoa!  It is catastrophic to unity. (Well, it’s actually catastrophic to everything good)  Here’s the antidote, and it starts with one person doing life in this way. Philippians 2:3-4: “Do NOTHING out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”  

I know this verse is about corporate unity in church, but it applies to marriages too.   Do EVERYTHING out of serving the other, be humble, and esteem your honey above yourself.   A litmus test for humility?  Admit when you’re wrong, and be quick to forgive.  Take interest in who they are, who God has created them to be.  Ask God to give you insight into their calling, their identity, their journey, their destiny, and then make it your job to champion that within them.  You get one person doing that, and the momentum starts, you get two people living this way?  Watch out world!  (Side note:  I LOVE the NLT version of this verse.  It applies to life.  Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. {Love that part!  You have nothing to prove, you’re a daughter/son!}  Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves.  Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.)  If you’re single and reading this, make sure your mate-to-be is serving in many capacities in his/her life.  It’s a MUST.

3.  Be transparent  With God first, casting all your cares/anxieties upon Him, for HE CARES FOR YOU.  {1 Peter 5:7}  He has massive shoulders.  Not only can He handle it, He wants to handle it!  Then be transparent with your spouse.  Be open, share your heart, dwell with each other in understanding.  This creates a safe environment to share dreams, fears, concerns…anything.  I am 100% not the type of person to sweep anything under the rug.  I value honesty and transparency, and I am a “let’s get this thing solved” kind of gal.  Early on in my marriage, I struggled knowing what to talk about and what to just let go.  My answer to that is:  ask God.  He may give you a solution, or a strategy.  He may want to work the thing out Himself, and He may want to have you discuss this *thing* with your spouse.  The more dialogue that happens in a marriage, usually the healthier it is.  I LOOOOOVE (singing this word) talking to my hubby about what God is teaching me, any ideas He’s planting in my heart, and where I think we are headed.  I thrive in vision, and I love to talk about it.  

But we didn’t start out that way. It took practice, patience, and time.  For my hubby, it took giving more details and sharing in more depth than he was used to.  He was a headlines guy, still is, and I love that about him.  But he was selfless in this and started to understand my need for transparency and constant dialogue.  We came home from work and decided not to give the other the leftovers (emotionally, mentally), but our best.  For me, I had to learn that not everything needed confrontation.  (I’m NOT a nag, ask my hubs!)  I needed to allow God to move in certain areas instead of me trying to solve everything.  This is actually a HUGE topic and an even bigger need in marriages, and I pray that couples find that harmony of knowing how to share from the depths of the heart, and VALUING that exchange.

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4.  Celebrate!  and be quick to laugh.  Don’t get too serious about things that in 2 years won’t matter.  To celebrate is to be appreciative of what you have NOW.  Sing a song, dance a dance, and plan to party.  Tonight, if your spouse is surprised when you plant a big fat kiss on their face when you first see them, it’s time to STEP IT UP, friends.  Celebrate at the gift you are partnering with–there IS good in there, for some it just may be deeper down! :)  God chose the two of you to do this thing together for a reason.  Find it and celebrate.   

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2 Comments

  1. Kitty suarez says:

    You have completely confirmed how I feel about marriage. You were able to articulate it in this article, beautifully! Thank you so much for sharing it in a Christian format, sharing Gods love for us at the same time. I want to read more! Thank you, thank you, thank you! We have been married for 18 1/2 yrs and these past 2 yrs have been very tough. As I stand in Gods grace, he has been there the whole time. Me believing that our marriage will be healed and that our love will be restored. I smiled when you wrote you were praying for me! Funny how God works, as my husband was looking for a vegan soup recipe, for me, when he found your site. He said” she looks fiesta” and there was a picture of you with boxing gloves. What I saw was your statement about food, health and Jesus! I love how God works As I looked more at your site, I found this one about marriage. I can see the love you have for our Heavenly Father. What a blessing it has been to find you! Thanks again

    • meghanbailey says:

      Kitty! Your reply made me laugh–and, wow, so true about God working endlessly on our behalf! I am a contender, for sure, and will pray for this season of your marriage. I hear “don’t grow weary in doing good, for you WILL reap a harvest of blessing (even more than you have in the last 18.5 years) in due time.” (From Gal 6:9) I also pray that you two are united in your vision as a couple, and that you’d discover, in greater degrees, why God put the two of you together. What a dynamic duo He has in you two! Thanks so much for the note. God bless you guys!

      Meghan

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